Do You Wonder if You Are Good Enough?

Reblogged from Chronic Illness Pain Daily Devotionals:

• 

As Mother's Day approaches tomorrow, some of us will wonder if, as a mom with an illness, we are "good enough." Dorothea shares how she realized she was--in God's eyes.

“. . . to be busy at home . . .” (Titus 2:5)

Most of the women in my family have taken the Titus 2 teaching to the extreme. Whenever I go home, I feel like I’m watching those “perfect” housewives from the old movies: sparkling homes; neatly ironed and starched laundry; hot meals every morning and night.

Read more… 528 more words

I love this blog. Each time I read one of these posts, it seems as if it were being written for me.

31 Days..Learn To Forgiving Yourself – You Can’t Keep Up

The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results. — Krishna

I cannot keep up with daily blog posts. My life erratic. One day Mr. Pain rules the home, and the next, it’s gone out for a cup of coffee and a donut.  I always vow myself to keep promises.  Writing a post every day for 31 days. It’s been impossible to keep up with.

Often, it takes all day to shower, make a bed, wash dishes, and make a meal or two. Some days, I need to vacuum, dust, clean the bathroom, do loads of laundry, and when those days roll around, something else has to give, and while writing wants number one on list, it goes at the end of my to-do’s right now. I don’t like living in dust bunnies up to my nostrils, they make me sneeze.

English: Dust bunny Deutsch: Wollmaus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Multi-tasking has been my life. Helping others has been a huge part of how I’ve gotten through my days. Can you imagine having to struggle to do what you do best? For me, taking care of others, doing everything in high-speed, feeling fantastic when I went above and beyond the expected.

You look up one day, and there is a stop sign the size of Texas at your front door, and you realize your life is now your old life. No more running at high-speed, learning to run at a slower pace, and having to learn it when you want to refuse the life of a snail.

Stop Sign (Photo credit: ladybeames)

“When you encounter problems in life, don’t ask God to take them away. Ask Him to show His purpose. Ask ways how to live a day searching His purpose for you.”

{ http://www.desicomments.com/sms/sms/god-bless-sms }

31 Days:How to Deal: Nasty Negative Feelings

someday there will again be kittens, babies, sunsets and flowers (Photo credit: circulating)

DAY 6 AND DAY 7

I am, unfortunately, one of those people who suffer from negative thoughts with my chronic pain condition. I’m speaking to those of us who when going through the stages of grief I spoke to on Day 4.

In an effort to look for the positive I’ve reviewed articles that have been the most helpful thus far. For one whole year, I’ve been dealing with denial, anger, bargaining (in the beginning – for two years, yes two years of bargaining which in my case was begging), then depression with anxiety, spurring a year-long battle with compulsive overeating to try to cover up all the negative feelings.

In case you don’t remember, here is the link to that item as well:

The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief, includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In no defined sequence… { If you aren’t familiar with the Kübler-Ross model – The Five Stages of Grief: see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model }

Kübler-Ross model, emoticonned (Photo credit: andrewyang)

I still haven’t found my acceptance in this condition. When I talk to those I used to work with, talk about my job with anyone, I

cry. I am in constant discomfort and pain, despite medications (far too many, and I find this discomforting). For this reason, I joined a workshop online “Better Choices, Better Health for Arthritis, a Stanford University self-management workshop powered by the National Council on Aging and the Arthritis Foundation with support from the Centers for Disease Control.”

This workshop also provides a lovely book, “The Arthritis Helpbook” Sixth Edition, co-authored by Kate Lorig, R.N., Dr.P.H., & James F. Fries, M. D.

English: Arthritis Foundation Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English: Arthritis Foundation Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyone battling with one or both of these conditions, even similar conditions could check out this six-session workshop where you have the support of at least twenty-plus people suffering from similar ailments. I find comfort from this workshop. I get a feeling of not being alone with the feelings and difficulties of coping with these diseases.

It’s time to look for all the positives. And I will explore some positives I’m going to attempt in response to the items I’ve listed below.

Today I happened upon a PDF in a Google search entitled “EXAMPLES OF AUTOMATIC NEGATIVE THOUGHTS (ANTs)” { www.thehappinessinstitute.com/…/…}

It’s no surprise, the article title explains how sometimes our feelings come from the way we think. It explains feelings as related to tremendous impact about how we handle those negative emotions. Once we can recognize our negativity, we can learn to change our outlook.

 The main ideas from the PDF follow. Examples found in the downloadable file.

How many have you ever felt?

• Using the words always and never.
• Concentrating on the negatives while ignoring the positives. Ignoring important information that contradicts your (negative) view of the situation.
• Thinking in black and white terms (e.g., things are right or wrong, good or bad). A tendency to view things at the extremes with no middle ground.
• Taking responsibility for something that’s not your fault. Thinking that what people say or do is a reaction to you, or is in some way related to you.
• Overestimating the chances of disaster. Expecting something unbearable or intolerable to happen.
• Mistaking feelings for facts. Negative things you feel about yourself are held  true because they feel true.
• Making assumptions about other people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours without checking the evidence.
• Anticipating an outcome and assuming your prediction is an established fact. These negative expectations possibly self-fulfilling: predicting what we would do on the basis of past behaviour may prevent change possibilities.
• Using “should”, “ought”, or “must” statements can set up unrealistic expectations of yourself and others. It involves operating by rigid rules and not allowing for flexibility.
• A tendency to exaggerate importance of negative information or experiences, while trivialities or reducing  significance of positive information or experiences.

“QUOTE” – . . .

“And if you think you’d benefit from a more detailed explanation of unhelpful

thinking and how to manage it, consider Dr. Sharp’s “The Happiness Handbook”

as well as The Happiness Institute’s series of happiness workbooks.”

Related articles for finding positives and taking actions: These are a good read:

• Thanking God … 31 Days of Focus on God Things Day #6 (hopeannfaith.wordpress.com)
• 31 days of 2 min. devos: What Forgiveness Is and Is Not by Julie (gracefullwomen.com)
• The Five Stages of Grief (inavin.wordpress.com)
• A Healing Treatment (massageenvy.com)
• It’s Never Too Early to Start Fighting Arthritis Pain (mamanista.com)
• Massage Envy helps raise money for Arthritis Foundation (redmond-reporter.com)
• Walking for a Good Cause (massageenvy.com)
• Reducing arthritis pain with massage (massageenvy.com)

31 Days . . .Day 5 – Probe Your Baseline for Needless Worry: Quietude

Typical Finnish wooden rocking chair. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”
Movie quote from: Van Wilder (2002) – Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds).

Last night I was “speculating” about all the what if’s in my life. My husband said, “You worry too much.”

I didn’t think too much about his words, because I’ve always been a worrier. In fact, I often think worrying gives me something to do, for those times I’d rather sit and rock in that rocking chair, but some family crisis appears, and I want to help but cannot.

This morning, I began to think, “Why do I worry?”

I really have no excuse;  I worry anyway,  and my only excuse is already explained. I am a chronic worrier, and my family is my lifeblood, and my lifeline.

And, since I’m having a chronic pain day, and this has been an emotionally difficult day, I feel a short post is necessary for Day 5.

I saw beautiful flowers outside my kitchen window today, a butterfly bush covered in Monarchs, and it was a lovely sunshiny day. I have these thoughts to take me through the rest of my evening. I will dream of flowers and butterflies tonight. This thankfully is my quietude for the day.

What is your quietude?

Sweat dreams to all. And check out a smile with the related post below about growing older.

Kathryn

Related articles

• Signs You Might Be Growing Older [4] (jbailey6748.wordpress.com)

31 Days…Oh Dear! It’s Day 4

Okay, so let’s talk a little about living with challenges and positive thinking, shall we?

Gangbusters! Out of the gate with a last-minute post for Day 1. Super cool, huh?

Then, let’s see, Day 2 rolls around, and I’m trying my best to insert a picture with a slight variation of my original 31 Days of…and poof! everything I had written was gone.

I’d forgotten to save my draft.

Duh, is this Fibro Fog, or was this simply ‘not thinking’?

I had grown tired, so I think: ‘it’s okay,’ I’ll try again tomorrow, and cross my fingers, no one will begrudge me for falling behind. I’m nervous, because 31 days, slated as a post a day for 31 days wasn’t happening. Positive thinking? Positive thinking was the last thing on my mind when the magic wand of ‘poof!’ descended upon a person who finds sitting for even fifteen minutes a major attempt.

Day 3

Oh dear, exact same scenario, only I’d revamped my Day 2 so I knew, you know? absolutely knew I had a wonderful post, but alas, I forgot to save my draft again, and when trying to insert photos . . . there it goes..out into cyberspace into a far, far, far away galaxy.  This was not Star Wars, this was aggravation to the nth degree. My heart sank and my frustration caused a hot flash like none I had ever experienced back in the day when I was having hot flashes.

Yeah, I know this sounds a lot like the dog ate my homework, but deed honest, it’s true. sad and silly, but oh so true. What a bummer, I have to use a cliché’ excuse.

Day 4

Now, it’s Day 4. I have been draft saving for what seems like every 30 seconds (and it dang well should be pretty close to every 30 seconds, but I’m not losing this post.

If you read the Day 1 post, you have a general idea of my current ailments, and unwanted woes.

October 1, 2011 was my first day of not working. I’ve worked since the tender, rebellious, vulnerable, and naïve age of sixteen, going on twenty-five. At the tender, rebellious, vulnerable, and naïve age of 51, (ha!), going on twenty-five,   signing up for 31 Days of meant getting back into blogging and writing. Something I consider positive in and of itself since my descent into the world of the stages of grief.

The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief, includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In no defined sequence… { If you aren’t familiar with the Kübler-Ross model - The Five Stages of Grief: see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model }

I have experienced all the stages except one: acceptance.

This becomes my reason for my chosen 31 Days Of Positive Thinking When Living With Chronic Pain.”

I’m going to wrap up this particular post with the most positive thought for today: “Completing the next 27 days is something I can do.  Thinking positively, accepting my limitations, finding that acceptance even when limitations show up unexpected, AND knowing in my heart of hearts this is okay.”

Tune in tomorrow for Day 5.

Think positive, there is a solution to fit, even if it isn’t the solution you are looking for, there is a solution good enough.

~Kbj ~

Related articles

• Five Ways to Handle a Setback with Positive Thinking (passingthru.com)

31 Days of Positive Thinking

I’m going to try the 31 Days of …in the month of October. I only found out about this lovely idea this evening from a post by A Nonny Mouse writes. You can see her post here: http://anmouse.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/thirty-one-days-of-hearing-his-voice/ .
To quote her, and to join in if you like, Nonny writes, “If you’d like to join in on the fun, then jump on over to Lisa-Jo’s blog and sign up. Or go to the one that started it all, The Nester. (that’s the neat thing about finding a cool blog like Lisa-Jo’s. You find other cool blogs as well!)”

I’ll be writing about 31 days of Positive Thinking. I’ve faced  a few challenges over the last year. In a short time, I went from knowing I’ve had Fibromyalgia for twenty-five years, to having arthritis attack my neck, shoulders, spine, hips, and every other nook and cranny good old arthritis can find to settle.

A year ago today, I spent my first day at home, unable to work due to the chronic pain I felt every day. A year before that my doctor talked to me about seriously applying for Social Security Disability, but I cried and told him I loved my job, and needed it as well, and he let it go. Last August (2011), my tears did not keep him from writing that dreadful note, “To Whom It May Concern,” and the life I had, and the one I imagined was gone.

In the past year, I’ve cried, become angry, depressed, anxious, and increasingly more uncomfortable with the diagnosis of a myriad of ailments, which when added together, make for a very discomforting life, both physically, and mentally. I found myself becoming more and more negative with my circumstances, forgetting all the positive things I used to tell the former clients with which I used to work.

I haven’t been following my advice.

My husband told me I needed to be more positive. He also told me I have become a whiner.

I was furious . . . he said what to me?

Then I realized, I have become a whiner. Sure, I’ve done all I can to learn to adapt. I signed up for phone calls offered by my insurance company. I have a nurse, and a licensed Therapist who call and check in with me on a monthly basis, but I miss my job, my co-workers, and most of all, I miss who I used to be.

So, today, I am going to use the 31 Day of writing challenge to write 31 Days of Positive Thinking. Writing this post is my first positive. I’d thought my days of sitting butt to chair and writing were over, but those were negative thoughts I created myself. I may not be able to sit and write in one sitting, but I can write in short spurts, and that is okay. Yes, it really is okay.

I’m happy to realize this, and it feels good to have a project to aid me in my goal of reclaiming positive thinking. Wish me well.

Focus On: Fiction and Poetry Blogs

Reblogged from The Daily Post:

Did you know literature was an Olympic event until 1948? Of course, all creative submissions had to reference athletics in some way, and many think the quality of the work suffered as a result. That's why blogging is such a great way to develop and showcase your creative writing - there are no restrictions or limitations beyond your own imagination!

Read more… 353 more words

Loved this wonderful post on literature as an Olympic event! Read on!

Focus On: Fiction and Poetry Blogs

Focus On: Fiction and Poetry Blogs.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Your Self-Hosted WordPress Website

About Coco

About Coco.